Doms always have to be the “adult in the room” even during a break up. The flip side of power is responsibility. No True Way So I am going to start with my decidedly hetero normative view, because, well that is where I live. I am a penis enabled person with a vulva enabled person as a submissive so that is the only place I can write from. I learned… Read More »Irresponsible Me
No True Way
You can’t be a submissive and a feminist No True Way Well here we are again. People telling other people what they can and can’t be. This post was going to be all snarky to highlight how ridiculous this statement is. But then another conversation started and I changed my mind about how I was going to write this. The notion is that you can’t be submissive and a feminist… Read More »The Contradictions of Society
A person, who identifies as submissive, went through some kind of trauma or is mentally unstable in some way. #NoTrueWay Ahh yes, we kinky people are sick and warped and all quite mad. This story is told again and again, in the mainstream press and just in the world in general. It is used in murder trials and all kinds of criminal prosecutions to show that people have some sort… Read More »We’re All Mad Here.
It is a submissive’s responsibility to make sure the dominant (always) reaches orgasm. No True Way There are so many d/s rules that I was unaware of before No True Way. This is a prime example. I had no idea that it was my subs responsibility to make sure that I always have an orgasm. I have (yet again) been doing it all wrong. I do have some questions though.… Read More »Who is Responsible for Your Orgasm
A submissive needs to be broken down by their dominant. It’s a hot d/s concept, right? The dom breaks the sub down to a quivering obedient shell, then the dom builds them back up again. It is cathartic and builds a closer and binding connection. The thing is the need to separate fantasy from the real life that most of us have to live. You know, the one where we… Read More »Break Down
Sex means PIV* Everything else is foreplay, petting, making out, etc No True Way I know that seems like a ridiculous question, but, sadly it is not. There are a lot of people who think that unless a penis inveigles its way into a vagina then what is happening is not sex. For me sex is any event where one or more people have an orgasm, I know that others… Read More »What Is Sex Anyway?
Each sub has to have their own collar and a collar that was worn by another sub before should never be worn by anyone. I have already written this post, and then I decided to start over. There was a gap between writing it and actually pressing the publish button and that gave me time to think. That can be problematic for me because I often find that more thinking… Read More »Does The Collar Belong to You Or Do You Belong To The Collar?
Way back when I was a baby dom at the nubile age of 50 I did a lot of research. One of the things I found was an excel BDSM spreadsheet. Exciting right? The first thing I did was google at least half of the items listed because I had no idea what they were. Then I did some formatting and editing as some of the terms used were pretty… Read More »Check Please
A dominant person recognizes a submissive person……not with the eyes, but with the whole being. #NTW Lillith and I have recently returned to our respective abodes from two glorious weeks in Fromage, France. While we were there we talked about so many different things and one of them was this prompt. I may have explained my point of view poorly since she believes we hold differing views on this, we… Read More »Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.
For this current #NTW the quote is Stubbornness is a bad character trait for a submissive. Which leads me to the question I ask all the time. If it is a bad trait for a submissive isn’t also a bad trait for a dominant? Wouldn’t a stubborn dom stick to his path not matter if it was right or wrong? Not caring who was harmed, just boldly moving forward no… Read More »As Stubborn As A Mule