Way back when I was a baby dom at the nubile age of 50 I did a lot of research. One of the things I found was an excel BDSM spreadsheet.
Exciting right? The first thing I did was google at least half of the items listed because I had no idea what they were.
Then I did some formatting and editing as some of the terms used were pretty obscure. Then I shared it with Molly.
It turned out to be a great starting point to have discussions about our kinks and limits. We didn’t just fill it out and talk about it once, we revisited it every so often as we learned more and learned what worked and what didn’t. Both of us found that to our surprise that things that had previously been hard limits had changed as well as other kinks that became limits.
When I met Cara we did the same thing, this time with a tab for each us. We all learned even more about each other and our desires.
Now both of those d/s relationships have passed and Lillith and I are partners in love and d/s, and surprise, surprise the spreadsheet made another appearance.
Now this is not the only way to discuss and document your journey through d/s, but it is a way to build a touchstone. A place to look back to and see what has changed and what hasn’t. For us it has the added bonus that almost nothing gets my beloved more excited than a spreadsheet.
I love our journey together and knowing where we have started and how we have grown will help us for years to come (If I don’t drive her mad first) and help us chart our kinky and loving future.
So yeah, I love all of the documentation that we have built about our d/s and when I am gone from this earth maybe someone else will see it for what it is. A geeky love letter.
So, check please.