For this current #NTW the quote is Stubbornness is a bad character trait for a submissive. Which leads me to the question I ask all the time. If it is a bad trait for a submissive isn’t also a bad trait for a dominant?
Wouldn’t a stubborn dom stick to his path not matter if it was right or wrong? Not caring who was harmed, just boldly moving forward no matter the outcome?
So, if taken at strictly face value you could see that stubbornness might be a bad trait. On the other hand… Maybe a sub sticking stubbornly to her hard list and a dom doing the same is a good thing. Maybe both people sticking to their values and their principles is also good.
So maybe like anything else it depends on the people and what they have negotiated. Lillith and I have points of view that we are both extremely stubborn about and we are both sure that the other is incorrect in their notions.
And to that I say…. Damn good for both of us. We sure be stubborn about the things that matter deeply to each of us while at the same time respecting that we hold different views. Not just in d/s but in all that we believe in.
Lillith may be one of the most stubborn people I have ever met and I feel pretty sure that I do well in ranking against people she has met. What makes it work is that we like that about each other, we value that difference of opinions and we accept each other for who we are, always, stubbornly 😉
We are individuals, not idealized versions of people that only exist in fiction. We don’t want to change each other except in the ways that we want help to change.
Being stubborn is core to who we are and if one of us had to give that up then I don’t think what we have would work. I need her to stand her ground just as I need to stand mine.
That way we can be in love with each other, as stubborn as a mule as we both are. And damn happy that way.