I have always striven to be a good man. I have often failed. That doesn’t stop me from trying again and again in the hope that this time, I might finally get it right.
How I define being a good man has changed over the many years of my live and has been influenced by both those I love and respect and those that I do not. Mostly what my own father taught me was how not to be a good man and yet I am sure that he thought he was. That is the thing, to what standard do we hold ourselves to be ablr to say that we are good? Who sets the bar? Many turn to religion for that standard but I have never found myself anyone that I much cared to emulate either in religious texts or in the world of religious leaders. I have, I think., chosen a hard path. I think it is easier to give your self to a religion, or creed or even the pursuit of mammon then it is to set your own standards.
I think that is why I have failed so often, no matter how much I work at being good I inevitably fail, both myself and others and let’s face it I am not a Spring chicken anymore, so I better get it right soon.
I have a chance again and I will do better and be that man that I should be. The one that she deserves the one that will show her what it means to be fully loved.
I will get it wrong and I will make mistakes and we will both fight and get angry. But that is how life and love goes and I will dedicate myself to making her as happy as I can. Today, tomorrow and all the days to come. I will be, good enough.