Sex means PIV*
Everything else is foreplay, petting, making out, etcNo True Way
I know that seems like a ridiculous question, but, sadly it is not. There are a lot of people who think that unless a penis inveigles its way into a vagina then what is happening is not sex.
For me sex is any event where one or more people have an orgasm, I know that others will not agree, but that works for me. Any sexual encounter where no one orgasms isn’t sex in my my mind it was a sexual activity, but not sex.
Now that my definition is out of the way let’s talk about how everything else that results in an orgasm is sex. If sex is only PIV then gay couples never have sex. That doesn’t seem right there is nothing magical about a penis that elevates what is going on to some special plateau, even if most men thinks it does.
As with so many other things centering everything around the penis enabled is dismissing everyone else. Even with the penis havers there are some of us with functional issues. So are we really going to say that because you have ED you are never going to have sex again?
Sex is an open horizon of possibilities, some of which have not even been invented yet. I do not mean to diminish the place that PIV holds in the pantheon of sexual acts. I just want to elevate all of these other things that bring us pleasure to an equal footing.
Others will write about this far better than I will and from a different perspective than mine and that is the beauty of the world. Because I think that all the people that you are having sex with need to know what all of that means, to them and to you.
I know that it is a topic of regular discussion with my partner and if we want a healthy and satisfying sex life it will continue to be that way.
What is sex anyway? If it doesn’t center around communication?