There were plans that were interrupted by life. That happens, even when we don’t want it to, but that is just how the cookie crumbles sometimes.
So this was not supposed to be a post, this was to be a lived lesson for the both of us. I, was going to be strict.
She likes it when I am strict. When I give her the look that says “Watch your step little slut”. That doesn’t mean she will stop, sometimes she can’t help herself but to push just that little bit harder. To cross that line, to lose herself in the consequences.
Our missed visit was going to be lived in that space just over the line, where her need to push was not going to be met with amused tolerance and indulgent smiles. But instead would be met by instant consequences. A spank, a hand in her hair, or around her throat. Whatever seemed appropriate to me. We had of course discussed both that I would be strict and that she would be happy with that. She was curious about what strict meant and I asked her to trust me.
That is why this is a post about what didn’t happen, it will happen of course. And then there will be another post about how I felt about being strict. Strict is hard for me sometimes. I am a loving and forgiving person by nature and so I lean towards not being strict, even when that would sometimes be the best thing. The thing we need.
I like being strict, but it brings up conflict from my childhood and it makes me worry about being a person like my parents. Too strict, and not caring and loving. That childhood made my path to being dom a tricky road. The conflict my desires engendered in me made me question so much about myself. But time and experience and love have helped me with all of that and have taught me that I can be dom, and strict and like hurting and still be a loving and good person. Because in the end, the consent of my partner makes it ok.
I also hope that there will be a post by her as well. Explain how it felt when I was strict and if she enjoyed that and most importantly to me, if she still felt loved during it.
The silly title of my post does capture what I am trying to explain here. Strictly come domming isn’t just a parody of a reality TV show but yet another attempt for me to mix love and sex and d/s into one big happy ball of life.