My Lillith wrote a post for Kink of the Week about gifts, it is a very good post and you should definitely read it. In her post she muses about whether she has given me a d/s gift and my response when asked that question. The point of this post is about her response to my answer and the nature of gifts from my point of view.
The image above is of some of the gifts I got for Xmas this year. They are all wonderful gifts, not because of the things that they got, but because the things that they got me show me they know me.
That is what matters, that the gift giver knows me.That is far more important than the gift itself. Lillith has given me a great many gifts that are part of her d/s because they all, every last one, show me that she has thought, and thought hard, about me and us.
And yes, one of those gifts is her submission. I know that is seen as a cliche in the d/s world but it isn’t one to me. It is an ongoing action that shows that I matter, that we matter. One of the things she has done is write me a series of dated letters that she gave me when we were in France. We are LDR and of course that has been made more complicated by the pandemic. She is also very busy with her local life and often has to be unavailable. She has given me the gift of being there for me even when she can’t be there. The last of the letters is for Sept 24th 2022.
That is the kind of gift that touches me deeply. The gift of her time. These are always the gifts I treasure most. I am lucky enough to be loved by people that have learned that about me. I have people that go out of their way to show me they care by showing me that they know me and think about me, Lillith, my nesting partner Molly, my step kids and my children.
I would say that they have learned my love language but I hate that expression I would rather say that they pay attention. That is an important thing in a world where I find that most people only pay attention to their own needs and desire and not those of the people who should be most important to them.
I love all the gifts I received for Xmas and I hope that those that received gifts from me love them too. But long after the candy is eaten, the books are read and the clothes worn and given to charity that they remember the care and attention I gave as the real gift.
I started this post by talking about her submission being a gift and I will close it by saying that my dominance is a gift as well. As is my love and all that comes with that. I am a hopeless romantic that even after all my years on earth and all my struggles know that the gifts I have received, of forgiveness given when it was not deserved, of help when it was not asked for, of love in the hard times as well as the good are the best gifts of all.