The World Was Made For Beautiful Mistakes.

Make a plan how to correct your mistake.

Often it just means avoiding the thing that lured you to begin with. It could mean you end a friendship or activity, if things need to be drastic enough.

No True Way

D/s is a lot of things. It is teaching and learning and making mistakes. I don’t believe that goes in only one direction. I need to make mistakes and learn from them. Sometimes if I don’t recognize what is causing me to make mistakes I will need someone else to help me identify that. Even when that someone is my sub.

When it comes to any type of profound life change it needs to be examined and discussed. In this scenario we are imagining that there is a person in our life that isn’t good for us, even if we don’t recognize it.

I would certainly talk to those in my life that I know have my best interests at heart and listen to their words and thoughts very carefully.

Then I would make my own decision.

The people you choose to let into your life are important and you should always be the one to decide if they deserve that place. If you think that someone you care for has made a bad choice then you absolutely discuss it.

But to use d/s to ban someone from your sub’s (or dom’s) life isn’t the right move. D/s is not carte blanche to control someone else in every aspect of their life. It is a never ending series of negotiations to find exactly how much control you want to cede. That is the only way I could see where it would be acceptable to to exercise that much control, and that is if you negotiated that. If one person knew they kept making bad choices and ask for help and control to prevent that from happening.

I would be reluctant to do that. The only method I have ever used was to tell my partner that a friend was not good for them, explain why, and then let life play itself out. If they are truly bad then they will out themselves. Then you have to avoid the burning desire to say “I told you so” because that doesn’t help at all and why would you want to rub salt into an open (emotional) wound. This is not the easy route, it is hard to watch someone you care for make a mistake that you think could be avoided, but then the right path is rarely the easy path.

When you reach the other side of all this is when you have to follow through. Forgive them, and, help them forgive themselves. That is what you would want if it was you that had made the mistake, isn’t it?

Life is just a series of mistakes that you make again and again until you get most of it right. And sometimes, you make a beautiful and wonderful mistake that has an outcome you never expected.

Michael