A submissive is a reflection of their dominant.No True Way
She is not a reflection of me. I am not a reflection of her. The implication of the prompt is that her submission is only a mirror held up to my dominance. That if she doesn’t measure up then that is down to my failure to be a good dom.
She is a brilliant submissive, for me. We decide together what her submission looks like just as we decided what my dominance looks like. What the rules are, what parts of life are d/s free. I know that isn’t the version that others practice. But we don’t measure ourselves and our relationship based on the expectations of others. We decide and we do it again and again every day.
We change our d/s based on so many different things, on what it happening in our local life, what is happening in the world and even just on how we are feeling in the moment.
The notion that like a mirror everything is in sync all the time just just apply to people and relationships. Love and d/s and life are messy because we don’t exist in a bubble where nothing else matters. Yes, it makes things more complicated, but then it is supposed to be complicated.
It is our differences that make it work for us. She craves my dominance when she craves it and takes a step back from it when it isn’t right, right now. I crave her submission too, but again that changes with so many other circumstances. It is, like life, a dance where we learn the steps as we go.
Like learning to deal with life events that fall completely outside our d/s. I know that it is hard to believe that anything could exist that isn’t part of that, but it is true. There are times where what I need to do is be her partner and friend and not her dom. To be there to support her when she needs only that my support, and if being her dom might help take her mind of of those things then she will let me know. It is every bit as important to know when to put that role on pause for a moment as a knowing when to let it back out.
I never want her to be a reflection of me. I want her to be herself always, to find what makes her happy in her submission and to find what makes us happy.
So mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best sub of all? The one that knows her worth and value without needing to be a reflection of me. I hope I can be the same for her.