So Lillith has been doing the 30 days of D/s for prompts for the The Blog Days of Summer and since we are together now we get to discuss what she is writing before, during and after she writes it. Today we were talking about negotiation.
Our d/s contains a great deal of discussion and negotiation about, well, everything. Sometimes it is about what we mean because of our different native languages after she speaks many and I barely speak one. The rest of the time it is about our needs and desires and how we approach them.
Now you could just go and read her post about this because I am know that I will repeat some of the things she said. But I think some of what I say will touch on different aspects.
For me the conversations that we have around what we do, what we are going to do, what we might do and what we will never to are amazing. Not just because they are important for our d/s, but because they reveal so much about who we are to each other. That isn’t just necessary but also exciting.
The thrill of learning her, and teaching her about me and together finding out about is one of the most incredible things we do. It reminds us that we have so much to share and explore and that is hugely wonderful.
A constant, ongoing process of teaching each other how we would like to be and even the failures and mistakes help us move forward as a team. It shows our focus and honors what we have by showing our attention to our relationship.
This is even more important as we don’t get to spend a great deal of time in the same physical space and the talks we have while we are are even more intense and allow us to learn each others minds.
For me it is, as the title says, that we have an agreement in principle to start. And then, we will spend the rest of our lives gloriously working out the details of what that means, to both of us.
P.S. She recently gave me perhaps the most romantic and thoughtful gift that I have ever received. I promise that I will share it you in due course. But for now, let me say, I have an incredible girlfriend.