I have had sex with more people than I can count. I have been in love with a smaller number of people that I can count. I have been in a (sort of) monogamous relationship. I have been in a polyamorous relationship.
I have been thinking about love a lot recently. There are many versions of love. The love you have for family, for friends, for a good sandwich and romantic love. You can love many things and people at once. Some people are capable of having many romantic loves at the same time.
I have decided that I am not one of those people. After a great deal of soul searching I have come to the conclusion that I am a Monoromanticamourist. Yep, it is a long and awkward word but it captures what I learned as to what works best for me. I need to be romantically in love with a single person.
As always this only applies to me and if you need something different then you should totally go for what makes you happy. But for me I need one person to focus my love and attention on. Even if that person isn’t able to do the same in return. While love isn’t a pie, the time it takes to be good at love is a pie. There are only so many ways you can split up your time until there is none left no matter how much you want there to be more. I was sure I had written a post about this, but I can’t find it anywhere.
I have time enough to love her fully, and that is all the time I have. I need to work, eat, sleep, cook and many other chores and that means the time I have left belongs to her.
So she is the center of my romantic life and there isn’t enough space for anyone else there. No more room at the inn, and the manger is full too. That makes me very happy, happier than I have been in a long time. I will always love those that I have loved in the past, but there can only be one that I am IN love with. You will know her as Lillith.
Isn’t that just Monoromanticamouristexpialidocious?
My goodness that is a big … very big … word.
But you are right that … much smaller … word is the one that should surely be the most important thing for all of us.
Love … in which ever way is the right way for each of us … is the most important, most binding, most fulfilling emotion of all.
Xxx – K