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A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed


“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself- and especially to feel, or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he really is.”

~ Jim Morrison

Oh I have some friends, some wonderful amazing friends. Just not very many of them. I had, for a while, thought that number was larger than it actually was. But that is because I forget a lesson that I learned very early in life. Most people, are acquaintances, and there is nothing wrong with that. They are perfectly wonderful people who are wonderful to know. But they are not friends.

Maybe that is because I have my own definition of what a friend is and it is not based on how they treat me, but rather my unspoken rules about how I treat them. This is why I sometimes confuse acquaintances with friends.

So here is what you get if I am your friend. If you need something and it is in my power to give it, it is yours. Need a body moved, no questions asked? Well if we are friends that can be arranged. Need a ride to the airport at 3am? Then I’ve got you covered. Need money? Help moving? Really no request at all is too much.

What do I expect in return? I expect you to display your friendship it whatever way you can. I have lifelong friends and though I might not talk to them for years when I do it is like no time has passed at all.

I have lost friends, some have died and some have drifted away and recently some have decided that they could not be my friend any more. All of those losses are painful, none more so than the one who have departed because of my behavior. I have also have friends who stood by me through those times. I hope that Molly still considers me a friend even though she has suffered most of all. The thing about those absent friends is that I will always accept them back should they someday feel able to do that. As I always say, no one has enough friends that they can afford to lose even one.

I have also made new friends in the most unexpected places and I will treasure them as much as I do my oldest friends. Most of these friends live scattered across the world and some I may never meet face to face. But they all have one thing in common they accept me as I am, flaws and stupid mistakes and all. And I accept them just as they are.

My partners have always been my friends as well and were it possible I would prefer to remain friends, but they have chosen a different path. I regret that, but the door is always open if forgiveness is possible. Once I am your friend, truly your friend that is not fickle. It doesn’t depend on whether I approve or disapprove of your actions. That doesn’t mean that I am blind to those things and it also doesn’t mean that there doesn’t need to be some distance from time to time. My friendship, like my love, is unconditional.



2 thoughts on “A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed”

    Sounds like you have thought a lot about friendship and what it means to you. I also think not many people are really friends, most are acquaintances.

    I had a similar conversation with my OH quite recently and similar thoughts that more people are actually acquaintances rather than friends. However I too, will do whatever if I class you as a friend.

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