I use vanilla in almost everything I bake. As far as I am concerned is it is a magical ingredient that makes everything I make taste better. My cakes and cookies and muffins all just come alive with a splash of vanilla.
Why am I waffling (a great place to add vanilla) on about this?
Because far too often it is used to mean boring, dull and not kinky. It often feels to me that it can be derogatory for people who don’t share the same tastes as we do in sex. That, my friends, to me, is a form of shaming. I can’t call it kink shaming but it comes from he same place.
Swingers call non swingers vanilla, Poly people call monogamous people the same. In fact I can’t think of a group of people outside the mainstream that don’t use the expression. That isn’t fair or right or frankly even a little bit cool.
Love (or sex) is love and it all should be treated that way. So maybe we should stop besmirching the reputation of a delicious flavor and a lifestyle different than our own.
So how do we designate the more sexually mainstream people in the world? This is something I have pondered for a while and I have toyed with Kink Impaired Person, but that really only spared the vanilla bean and not really the people.
What I am trying out now is NKE (Not Kink Enabled) or maybe NKI (Not Kink Inspired).
But I really haven’t hit on anything that seems to suit me just yet. But I will keep trying and I hope you will join me in finding better language that does better for everyone. Because I love vanilla.
Btw, I even enjoy vanilla sex. Why exclude anything that brings you pleasure?