Love takes many forms, some are more unconventional than others. Some have become more conventional over my lifetime. When I was young the open show of love between same sex couple was unthinkable for most people.
The same is true of interracial relationships. Not that either of these examples still don’t have a long way to go.
For all of its many flaws 50 Shades of Grey brought BDSM and D/s into the mainstream. And shows like Big Love and, You, Me, Her have shown what multiple partner relationships can look like.So what is conventional can and does change over time.
As a kinky person I tend to know and spend my time with other kinky people and have seen the version of love that works for them. You might say that kink and love are not bound together and for some people that is true. But for many of the couples or whatever configuration is built I can honestly say that what I see is love.
But even among those that accept D/s and kink, or multiple partner relationships there are always those that will tell you that what you are doing is wrong. And so we reach the actual point of this post.
Now I am only talking about one variation on this theme. There are many, and the roles enacted as varied as human imagination. But I am only going to cover the one that I have first hand knowledge of and leave the rest for you to research.
So let’s start with the basics. DD/lg stands for Daddy Dom, little girl, but remember those gender representations don’t necessarily mean that the DD is male or that the lg is female. And no, it is not about pedophilia or incest. In fact before writing this post I asked people on Twitter what were the myths about DD/lg that they wished they could dispel and by a wide margin the answer were versions of
That the DD wants to fuck underage girls. sighs for fucking ever
That somehow you’re into kids or have “Daddy issues”. Or that we all wear nappies/diapers and use pacifiers/dummies
That all the effort comes from the DD and the lg is just a vapid sponge who contributes nothing but sex
That the woman is somehow weak or inferior….or damaged.
We are not 24×7 D/s and that is even more true in regards to DD/lg. Like our exploration of D/s our explorations here are about learning in a safe way to explore the things that turn us on. Not to deny them or hide them but to bring all the communication skills we have learned to all facets of our love and desires.
This part of D/s is derided by many both in the kink world and by the larger world outside. You open yourself up to criticism at best and outright attacks at the worst. All kink is some form of playing with the edges in sexuality in my opinion. BDSM is viewed as abuse by many and that female identifying subs are often told that they aren’t consenting because they are so damaged by internalized misogyny that they can’t consent. And the Dom/Daddy is just sick.
We are both fully grown adults who together have agreed to the kind of relationship we want to have. It is not static but ever changing as we learn about each other and what turns us on. We do not extend this dynamic to others beyond the two of us and pose no danger to anyone else.
Really, the only difference for us is the way we address each other and the fantasy roles we take on. Yes, the taboo makes it hot. But again that is only between us and isn’t part of what makes all kinds of kinks hot, the taboo nature of what is being done? In practice what happens is when the mood strikes us for this kind of kink I love and care for her like I do all the time. That I nurture, praise and comfort her and that she is still my submissive and still my partner and she does the same things for me that I do for her. It is just said and done in a different way.
What we have is a caring and loving relationship where Lillith is a strong and independent woman. If you suggest she is weak or damaged or that somehow I do all the work, I think you might find yourself facing a very feisty opponent
Lillith and I share many kinks that are considered unconventional by many and I am sure so do you if you are kinky in anyway that wider world might see differently. The difference between our kink relationship and yours probably isn’t as far apart as your think.
The shape of love is created by those that inhabit it. So you get to have your version and we get to have ours and while you might not like ours and we might not like yours, it doesn’t matter. Each of us gets to do what is right for us.
As I mentioned earlier, the way we do this is not the same as many others do this. If you do it differently then why not share your story in the comments and leave a link if you have a post somewhere online? Just a note that I reserve the right to moderate comments as I see fit.
If you have any questions about our DD/lg, our D/s or anything else. please feel free to ask.
As an additional note I thought that oddly this post fit in with Quotequest
The thing is that you brought this out in me. How could I want it with anyone else.JM Storm