Over the weekend I asked Lillith to think about our D/s and her submission and that I was going to do the same and so today I asked her what her thoughts were and among those thoughts was a sentence that stuck out for me.
“A thought I had was that D/s is our common denominator.” ~Lillith
And of course as many of her words do that got me thinking. Is that true? Is D/s the basis of our relationship? And because I am strange with words I also thought about it in the mathematical sense.
A common denominator is the common multiple of the denominators of several fractions.
So 1/4 and 3/4 have a common denominator of 4.
Notice the similarity between 3/4, and D/s? So is the common denominator /s ?
Is she (in my case) the thing we have in common, and by that I mean her submission, is that what holds us together? It is a very interesting notion and one that made me stop and ponder it. It has a certain appeal really, that without her submission to hold us together we would not be what we are. But that discounts my contribution entirely, it says that any Dom will do as well. Hopefully that isn’t the case.
Equally dominance can’t be the glue either, I would never say that any sub would do. Don’t get me wrong, I bring something to the party. I care for her and love her and work on us each and every day. I don’t take anything for granted and I try with all my might to make sure the path we are on is the right one for us.
So if it isn’t the D and it isn’t the s, then is it the slash (/)? Is that the part of us that makes it all work? As my friend often says when she talks about what works for her and she tells me about it from her side of the “slash” and I know that she is talking about the s side. That makes D my side of the slash, so / is the bit that holds it all together. Nope, I don’t feel that either.
To be honest thinking about this aspect of us in isolation is a hard thing for me to do. It would be simpler if I could. Just be about BDSM and not all the other things it would be much easier to analyze. But I can’t separate that from the love and the friend and the partnership and everything else we are and that we hope to be as we go down this road.
So maybe I can best express this in a way that might show it visually and I know will make her laugh because of the method I have chosen.
So you see, I have made D/s the common denominator, but I have made us the answer. Because in the end that is what matters. Us and where we decide to take us. I do know that for me at least Fractional D/s is part of the equation.