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The Five Women of my Decade

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Five Women
Five Women

So as the decade draws to a close I have been giving a great deal of thought to that time and what has happened over those years. Most of the positive role models in my life have been women. Mostly (please note that the word is mostly and not all)what I have learned from men is how not to behave, useful lesson but there are still a few of those lessons I still need to unlearn.

So I am going to say something about the women that have been the biggest influences in my life over this decade. I hope they don’t mind.


Of course I have to start here. The woman that showed me what I was. Showed me my true nature and self. It would be hard to capture in any meaningful way how much I have learned from her about so many different things. I will say that she is brilliantly smart, very funny, extremely talented and very loving. She has been so vitally important in my life that I don’t know what I would be without having her as a partner over these last ten years. She always has and still does support me, in spite of everything. My wish for her is that she find the joy and happiness that she wants in her life and that she someday sees how amazing and wonderful she truly is. I have always said that she is the talent and that I am merely talent adjacent. That is as true today as it ever was.

Girl on the Net

I met Gotn at one of the very early Eroticons, I thought that maybe I made her nervous, but that meeting started a long friendship that has meant a great deal to me. The thoughtful discussions, disagreements, and arguments we have had over the year always taught me something and have changed my opinion on many topics. She was patient and understanding with the misconceptions I held as a Cis Het White Old Penis Enabled Person and would always have amazing insights into the topic at hand. She too is a fantastic talent and I am sure someday will be rich and famous and snub me as she now has much better friends.


It started with admiring her from afar. Her charm, her beauty, her smoking hot writing all combined into one tall sexy package. She taught me that there was yet another facet of my personality that I had somehow missed. The days and hours we have spent together both online and in person have been wonderful and I am confident beyond any shadow of a doubt that she will continue to learn and grow and find the confidence in herself and her abilities. A completely brilliant person that anyone would be lucky to know and have in their life.


Yet another moment of serendipity in my life. I have somehow managed to meet yet another woman that is completely fascinating and through whatever circumstances have brought her into my orbit has decided that I might just be worth something in spite of everything. I have no idea where this might lead but I do know that this is someone worth exploring that undiscovered country with. Smart, sarcastic, quick, witty and capable, she has been the saving grace in a no good, terrible rotten year. She has shown me more things that I didn’t know about myself (sensing a theme here/?) and how important those things are to me. I can’t wait to find out what more we can learn together, and I can’t think of a better someone to explore with.

All the rest of you

All of my other female friends. The ones that have been there for me when I needed them and even though many of them are new friends they are no less important. I have been fortunate over the years to have so many amazing women in my life and If I wrote about all the ways in which they have helped me grow, well that wouldn’t be a blog post it would be an epic multipart book series.

I just want each and every one of you that I value you. that I learn from you. That I know that whatever mistakes I make that I can learn to be better than I was, better than I am. And maybe, just maybe finally be worthy of the care and attention that I have been shown. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

So it isn’t really five women, it is a hell of a lot more.


Photo by Bruce Dixon on Unsplash

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