My very first sexual relationship was an age gap relationship. But not in the way that most of you think. I was the young one. This relationship would be illegal today but I think it served me well as an introduction to sex.
I have had five serious romantic entanglements since the tender age of thirteen. Three with age gaps and two without. So while many people think that I always go younger that just isn’t true.
I understand why some people take issues with age gap relationships. Many feel that the balance of power is always weighted in favor of the more mature (supposedly) older partner.
I don’t think that is always the case regardless of the genders of the people involved. But certainly the stereotype is that the older man seduces the naive ingenue and I am sure that can does happen, but I am also sure that isn’t the case for me.
Yes, adding d/s to the mix can also muddy the waters since it is built on an unequal balance of power. If, fully informed consent is not included. Don’t worry, I can hear the voices of those who disagree, that even d/s in a peer age situation disrupts that consent. That people are just fooled into thinking that’s what they want.
That is a disservice to all of the strong, powerful, independent women who I have known and who love power exchange.
Even though I am considerably older than Lillith I doubt that many would say that I am more mature. Certainly I know that she pushes back hard against things all of the time and that all of our explorations in kink are not just initiated by me.
She is a fully empowered participant in our journey discovering what balance of power is right for us and that is just the way it should be. To write what we have off as just manipulation on my part and and naivety on her part diminishes us both.
The fact that I am the older one is immaterial, our ages could be reversed and I would still be the dom and she the sub. Our genders and age could be any combination and that would still be true.
Of course there are always those who take advantage of others. Those people would do that no matter the situation d/s or not. Those people are predatory and d/s is just an excuse for them and the age gap doesn’t really matter the balance of power is already tilted towards them.