The Contradictions of Society

You can’t be a submissive and a feminist

No True Way

Well here we are again. People telling other people what they can and can’t be.

This post was going to be all snarky to highlight how ridiculous this statement is. But then another conversation started and I changed my mind about how I was going to write this.

The notion is that you can’t be submissive and a feminist because you are giving up your power to serve a man. And that somehow diminishes you. That you are less than someone who is not submissive. Never mind the gender assumptions inherent in the question. Would it apply if the sub was male? Would it apply if the sub was submitting to another woman.

In my opinion none of that matters. As far as I am concerned being any sort of sub is not making yourself inferior in any way. It takes power and strength to submit. I know that others have said that before and I also know the yeah, yeah, yeah that comes with that.

But it is true. Being submissive does not mean you give up anything. You still get to say that people deserve equal rights in life. Your sexual choices and preferences do not rule every part of your life and even if you are in a TPE relationship YOU decided to do that. No one made you and if you decide that doesn’t work for you then you get to change that.

Being submissive doesn’t mean you are submissive to everyone. It means you have chosen a person to give that control to. You don’t give up your right to vote. You don’t give up your right to to be paid the same (even if we haven’t fixed that yet). You don’t give up your right to consent or not to consent to what happens to your body. Unless YOU choose to do that with someone you trust.

I know that I say this and that many will discount my opinion because I am male and dom and that means that I can’t relate and they are right. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be seen as somehow “less” just because of my gender or any of a thousand reasons that don’t happen to me because of my privilege.

And that is what I wish for others. The freedom and joy and right to be just how you are without the judgement, perceived or actual or, if not that then ability to not care that I have mostly always had.

Until those changes happen in the world then all I can do is my part to make those I care about feel supported to the best of my ability. So you can always (in my opinion) be exactly how you are and be it proudly and I will lend my voice and effort to confront those who would tear you down. So be submissive and feminist because those things are not mutually exclusive, and I will defend you to my last breath. I am proud of what you are. Fuck the contradictions of society.

Michael