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Waiting for my ship to come in

Waiting for my ship to come in

I have a playlist that I listen to, mostly Friday to Saturday. It isn’t a long playlist, but it spans decades and genres of music. I am listening to it now as I write. Music helps me write. It helps with many things.

Right now it is helping with waiting. I am a patient man, I have waited a long time to see her again. Soonish the waiting will be over. But it seems the closer it gets to that moment that I can be with her again, the harder the waiting is.

I know that many people have been apart from the one(s) they want to be with. I see people on Twitter making plans to see friends, family and lovers. And I am glad for them, but at the same time it doesn’t make it one bit easier.

We do many things to stay connected and be with with each other in as many ways as distance permits. But there are moments when the feelings are overwhelming. It’s not just that I can’t show her my love in person. It is that I can’t show her the many ways that love can manifest when we aren’t in the same space.

I can’t hold her down and use her in the way we both need. I can’t see the look in her eyes when she find that submissive space. I can’t spank her, train her, correct her and then hold her afterwards.

I can’t show her how all encompassing her my love is for her, no matter how much she doubts she is worthy of being loved. Not just being loved, but being owned. Just us belonging to each other as we both desire and need.

What does this have to do with my playlist? Well, after all the songs about being apart or missing the one you love, or how you should take all the opportunities that life gives you to be with the one you need, it ends with this.

I know it’s hard for you to talk
Bare your soul and open up
I will wait for you, I will wait for you
Can’t pretend to understand
I’ll be here to hold your hand
I will wait for you, I will wait for you

Wait for You
Tom Walker



I hope that all of you in the same place as I am can make it. To be finally done with, waiting for my ship to come in.

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