For No True Way I have written many posts. They seems to be a variation of the same thing. Me repudiating the quote. I always give it a caveat. That it is only my point of view and that it may well be different for others.
Stop “trying” to be a good sub…because that’s focusing on “you”…
Focus on Him…
His needs, His wants, His desires…
And everything will fall into place
So that is the quote and as I have said many times before, this is not a sentiment that I can agree with. It is too one sided. It makes the mistake that people are one dimensional and that just isn’t true for anyone I have met.
So I am going to rephrase the quote and see what that does.
Stop “trying” to be a good dom…because that’s focusing on “you”…
Focus on Her…
Her needs, Her wants, Her desires…
And everything will fall into place
Now how is that any less true than the original quote? Shouldn’t you focus be on her as much as her focus on you? If you are the dom she needs then you will be her desire and she will be focusing on you. Of course if for both of your your sole focus is on each other then you might be missing out on some of the other things in life. Important, vital things.
To give your best to another also means giving your best to yourself. Doing things that (gasp) might fall outside d/s. Like reading, watching movies, making delicious food, I mean who among us hasn’t given up on other things we like to do to spend all of our time practicing and improving our d/s?
In my opinion, to have the best sub and for you to be the best dom is that you bring your d/s into your whole life (where appropriate, no spankings at a parent teacher conference you pervs) and not exclude the rest of your life and joys for d/s.
I know that my goal for Lillith is for her to be the best whole person she can be. Not just the best of one facet of her life. I hope that is the same as what she wants for me. I know that the dream of a life of nothing but d/s can be seductive but in the end you give up far too many of the other parts of life that are amazing too.
Be a whole person and do everything you do with joy and love and you will find out that everything falls into place. That is the right focus for me.
Michael
