Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

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Bath

We have never shared a bath together. I am pretty sure that she isn’t the biggest fan of baths. I find them to be ok, unless they are shared.

I want to spend a day full of kink moments with marks and bruises, welts and love. A day where we take our time exploring each other, exploring our roles and desires until we collapse into a tired sweaty mess.

Then while dinner is cooking I will run us a hot (but not too hot) bath. She will sit in front of me in between my legs and lean back into my chest while I use a soapy loofah to bathe us both. We will talk and laugh and relax, unwinding, together.

Those moments of loving care, the ones during those kink moments and the ones afterwards matter, equally. There should be, in my opinion, always be a whole package, That even when being mean or when being gentle that love and d/s should always be present.

I need it all, not just one and then the other. But that is just who I am and my expectations of myself are not my expectations of her. Still, I want to show her that it is possible. That when I am calling her my dirty little bitch, or cunt, that it is all said with love, even as I use her. That it isn’t just that she belongs to me, but that I belong to her in equal measure.

Maybe she needs that separation, maybe combining them robs each of its power and diminishes what they are. We are, after all, different people with different backgrounds and experiences and expectations. I think it is worth trying though.

We can work it all out while we take a nice hot bath and just exist, flesh to flesh and heart to heart.

Michael

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