You spend most of your life having firsts. Kisses, lovers, marriages, children, grandchildren. Eventually though those firsts start to give way to lasts. You hardly notice them. They are not like firsts, they are not marked with celebrations, their are no balloons or candles to blow out when your eyes start to fail or when you can’t hear anymore.
There are things that I will never be able to do again and I didn’t know that while I was doing them for the last time. It is just what happens as you roll through life and if you aren’t careful you will find yourself at the end wondering how you missed all of those lasts.
I am trying to be more mindful of these moments as they come and maybe even before they come so that I can enjoy them.
I know that I am enjoying a last right now. I am in my last romantic relationship. It is a fitting last too. I am happy to have her in my life, especially when I was fairly sure that my last was going to be my last.
Nothing in life is certain, I know that the universe could take what I have now away, or worse yet, I could screw it up. But, I know that should any of that happen it will be time to find out what a life with no significant other is like. I am not looking to be dark, it is just my plan that I will be her partner until I am no more.
You never know when you will have your last birthday, or last Xmas or last kiss and I will do all of those things from now on as if they might be my last. No more taking for granted a tomorrow that is promised to none of us. I will make this last love be one that is all the sweeter by making each moment precious to the both of us. One, where no matter what happens, we will remember the feeling of this gift until we go to our final resting place.
Michael
