We all worry about this. Are we good enough? Good enough in all the ways we need to be good. Am I a good enough partner? Am I a good enough lover, worker, writer, dominant, submissive?
Even when we are feeling at our best and the world is ticking along as planned it can still sneak up on us and trash our day in an instant. Suddenly that feeling of surety has vanished to be replaced with crippling doubt.
It happens to me all of the time in so many ways, for example when I am working on a site or code problem and I can’t seem to find the solution. Or if I have made a mistake or misjudged something in our D/s.
Mostly it is internal, all just variations on “Imposter Syndrome” but sometimes that inner struggle can be exacerbated by others, who either intentionally, or unintentionally denigrate what we do or what we have done. We take in that criticism and apply it whether it is valid or not. As always we are our own worst critics.
So what do you do when your LDR partner has these moments of self doubt? How can you comfort them when you can’t show them in a physical way that they are not what their brain is telling them? With Lillith I try to not let things get that far. To let her know every day that she is more than good enough. But that can be hard with just text or even audio messages.
But that is what I do, well, that, and write posts like this one. I send her an audio message every night before I go to sleep for her to listen to every morning. I send messages telling her that she is a good girl when she completes a task . I tell I love her, not as often as I think it because then I would never get any work done, but you get the idea.
We message on a wide variety of topics including our d/s and we check in to make sure what we are doing still works for us both. We use every tool at our disposal to keep that connection alive and healthy.
Yet those moments of doubt still happen. They will probably continue to happen, they will be made worse by distance and circumstance. So here is my pledge.
I pledge to you that I will be there whenever you need me. That nothing will change that and I will do my best to always let you know that you are good enough. You have shown that you are, over and over for nearly a year now.
I pledge to work on our relationship every single day and communicate with you about my thoughts and fears.
I pledge to love you and show that love everyday.
I pledge you my whole heart, because you are good enough.
I pledge that I will try to be good enough for you.
Michael
