The latest #NoTrueWay prompt is the question “Who do you belong to?”
You might think that because Lillith and I are in a D/s relationship that would be easy to answer, right? Obviously she belongs to me… but it isn’t that simple.
She is my sub, my girlfriend, my partner and I am her Dom, her boyfriend and her partner. We belong, as much as anyone can to each other.
We are two fully informed consenting adults who have agreed that there is a power imbalance in certain areas, but that does not mean that I own her expect where SHE has decided that she wishes for me to own her.
These areas are not fixed and immutable. They change with circumstances and even with changes in what we want from life and each other. Should either of us decide that we are not getting what we need we will do what we have done from the beginning. We will talk about it.
For me, it is important that I belong to her. That she chooses me. Not just once, but every day. I want a partner, not a piece of property. Her ongoing consent is what make it all work for me. And my ongoing consent matters just as much.
I know that our needs and our D/s is not the same as others. But isn’t that the point? To learn what does and doesn’t work for each other? Then apply what we have learned to our lives?
In spite of my age, in terms of how long I have been part of the kink world I am, if not a newbie, then at best a novice. I have only been in three D/s type relationships and all of those have been in my 50’s. Statistically I have been in vanilla relationships for most of my life. And I have fucked up two of those completely.
Perhaps I have learned enough that the third time really will be the charm. If I constantly remind myself that I belong to her in equal measure that I can be a better Dom, a better partner and a better man.
This prompt has reminded me of a song by the Lumineers
Belonging is definitely a two way street -at least!Discovering dynamics and how jigsaw pieces go together is a delight of kink I think. 🙂