Lillith replied to a tweet about the pet names she liked and it got me thinking about the language we build with those closest to us. The words that we use in everyday language can take on whole new meanings with the special people in our lives. We develop this common language over time as we learn about each other, as we share our lives, our past and our present.
It grows over time, for Lillith and I it includes seemingly random words and phrases like Clay Ovens, Toaster, Dinosaurs on Toast, Indeed, I See, and Not too bad, just to list a few. I think all relationships develop a secret language, a shorthand for shared moments.
Even when we are having our kink moments we use words that work for us, words that push our buttons, words that reinforce or enhance our actions. These words have great power for the both of us and not something that we share (mostly) with the world at large. You might see a bit of it on mean days when we are a bit more public with our kink, but not always.
Even though Lillith and I don’t share a primary language (I am working on my German) and many things need to be explained, or researched and discussed, the Lingua Franca that we develop together helps build a foundation for us. A base to build from to grow our love, our D/s and our whole relationship.
Now this currently does not extend to what we call each other. I am Sir, or Daddy or Michael and she is My little slut, or my good girl, sometimes whore, or cunt and as often as not, Lillith. She firmly rejects any attempts I make for a cute nickname in any language for her. But I think I see some other names for me creeping into her vocabulary, like, crazy old man. So as always, never say never.
One place where we most definitely diverge on names is on stuffed animals. She believes that stuffed animals don’t have names and I am of the opinion that they do. So the panther I got her I call Bruno Marzipan and she call it panther. The Marmoset that she got for me (Hey, Doms can have stuffies too!) is Manfred Marmoset.
In the end it doesn’t matter what we call each other, or our stuffed animals so long as we decide together and if that doesn’t sound D/s enough for you, well, that is too bad, our D/s is full of love, silliness and kink and it makes us happy and we really don’t care if you think it is right or not. We have made a place just for us and a language to suit.