Today is a special day for someone that is new to my life. Someone unexpected. Someone that has brought me so much happiness. She loves my strangeness and my strange life. She even seems to love me for those things.
So I find myself here in a new place. A place of hope even as the rest of the world falls apart. When just a few months ago I thought that things could never be good again. I found a friend, a sub, a lover, a partner and so much more.
Let me tell you about her. She is brilliantly smart, much smarter than I am. She is funny with a biting wit. She is playful and sweet and caring beyond words. She is beautiful and she doesn’t seem to know it. She gives more than she gets. She leans into the weird that is our life in a way that astonishes me every single day.
I spend my time wondering how I got so lucky.
I learn so much from her, our backgrounds and cultures are worlds apart and yet that doesn’t seem to matter. We talk and message for hours and yet there is always more to say, to learn, to challenge. Through her I have found my way back to myself and while I set the rules and she follows them it is never one sided it is always us, together. We have just started our journey together and yet I can’t imagine a single day without her in my life.
Neither of us were looking for an LDR, in fact we were both sure that wouldn’t work for either of us. But we just seemed to grow into it. Our lives are complicated in so many ways and yet, in the end, that doesn’t seem to stop us. While we have spent countless hours chatting, messaging and talking we have only spent 96 hours together. That isn’t a lot of time, but that really doesn’t matter. The connection is real and full and not something that we are doing on our way to something else.
It isn’t perfect, we aren’t perfect, nothing is perfect, but we work together. Spending this day apart isn’t easy and I haven’t helped things. So a day that was supposed to be special has become less so. Things will work out and I will do better. We will be better. The newness of this means that we have much to learn about each other and I will stumble along the way. But we are in this for the long haul.
Happy Birthday my love. I hope that you have the day that you deserve and that it brings you joy and happiness. I know that knowing you has brought me joy and happiness every single day. Today, tomorrow and all the days to come.