So the flames of porn wars are being stoked again. And of course BDSM is called into question. A recent article in The Metro (that link prevents them from getting any SEO juice) is warning all of us again about the horrors of porn and more specifically about Pornhub. Now don’t get me wrong, Tube sites suck. They have created a monopoly on porn and have made it hard to convince people to pay for their porn. They are terrible at taking down content that is of horrible sexual crimes. Kind of like every other media outlet on the web, like YouTube and Facebook and Twitter. That isn’t an excuse of course and something that they need to be better at.
There is so much wrong with this article that I could write a whole damn book on it. But the part I want to focus on is the link it makes to BDSM.
“There are women who claim to consent to such pain and degradation, of course.
Many proponents of BDSM believe that it is a legitimate lifestyle choice.
However, the potential harms are worth examining: a 2015 survey conducted by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom indicated that as many as 36 per cent of people have been touched at a BDSM club without their consent, and 29 per cent of respondents had experienced at least one violation of their negotiated limits, or disregard of their use of a safe-word.
The debate around BDSM – whether it is harmful and violent or consensual fun – remains contentious. “
Note how this is phrased There are women who claim to consent to such pain and degradation, of course. These women CLAIM to consent, not that they could actually believe it is the implication. Then the writer tries to press emotional buttons with the words pain and degradation. I mean it is not like it seems like she might have an agenda or anything, does it? ” Many proponents of BDSM believe that it is a legitimate lifestyle choice. ” Again look at how that is stated. That we believe that it is a legitimate lifestyle choice. Not that it is one of course, is the implicit message here. That is followed with an example of how that even within the kink community there are potential harms… worth examining around consent and safeword violations. These statistics are presented without context or comparison to what comparable statistics from the vanilla world, because people never behave that way in the wider world do they?
Is the kink community perfect? Fuck no, every community has people who are bad apples or who take advantage. I mean all you have to do is look at the state of politics today to know that. Now this isn’t the first time I have written about this, it crops up again when it is time to get the average people of the world all riled up about something so that people can get attention, to be seen to doing something. Because porn and BDSM are easy targets, nobody actually admits to watching porn or enjoying kink do they? Or if they do they are labeled as weird and perverted.
The debate around BDSM – whether it is harmful and violent or consensual fun – remains contentious. Who exactly does it remain contentious to? We certainly know that it is to the author of this article. But do you know of any vanilla community that spends as much time as the kink community does thinking, talking, debating, revising, and refining the ideas of consent? That puts in place best practices for consent kink, and sex? I know I don’t.
The part I really find interesting is how that Fem Dommes aren’t mentioned even once. What about the poor sub men being beaten and used for all the world to see? What are we teaching girls when they see that kind of sexual dynamic? And the poor boys who are learning that their only sexual attractiveness only lies in how much pain and degradation they can take. </scarasmfontoff>
Or doesn’t that fit the author’s narrative? Sorry, this article is thinly disguised propaganda.
Maybe Jessica Masterson needs to actually get out and meet some of us? Look at events like Eroticon or Memes like Sinful Sunday or Wicked Wednesday or Masturbation Monday, online Twitter discussions like #fetchat and for dogs sake go and send some time reading Girl on the Net And if all of that is too much trouble, feel free to get in touch and maybe we can set something up where you can meet us as if we were actual people who care and want to help you learn. Because I am old and I am getting damn tired of people telling me that my sexual preference is wrong and violent. For me Love, Sex and D/s are all one thing and that is centered around love and care and not making anyone do what they don’t want to do.
So what do you think Jessica? Are you ready to learn something outside of what you already know, and I don’t mean in a classroom.After all you are a PHD student. I mean out in the world where people live their lives and have their loves and are only looking for a little bit of joy and happiness, even if you don’t like where they find.
One last thought, pay for your porn and then Tube site might go away and we can stop hearing how they destroy the world.
Michael
