And I am sure there are many who will wonder “Already?” I know that it could be seen like that. Now in spite of the fact that I am very old I haven’t been in love many times, that being said I tend to fall hard and fast when it does happen.
Like every other time it was something that I found while I wasn’t looking for it. My plan was to spend time being single and concentrating on other aspects of my life. After all life has been tumultuous for me recently. But the universe laughs when we make plans. Who am I to buck the universe? So here I go again falling in love.
I could talk about how we got here, but really it was just a chance exchange of tweets that led to Dms that led to texts and calls. All culminating in 48 hours together. But all of that is just the process and doesn’t get to the crux of the matter. How we make each other feel, how we are together, even when we aren’t physically in each others presence.
We had danced around how we felt for a while, both of us trying to be cautious that we didn’t move too quickly. You know what I mean, we told each other how much we adored each other and other euphemisms when during one of our poorly connected phone calls when the connection was cutting out constantly and I mostly couldn’t hear her when suddenly for the duration of three little words the call resumed.
Do you remember what it feels like when you hear those words? How your breath catches and your heart races. How you feel alive in every fiber of your being. Well for me that feeling lasts for years, and I want to be able to express that. Show others my happiness and they can think about it what they will. After all it only matters how we feel and life is short. I don’t want to miss a single opportunity to say those words until she is tired of hearing them. Because no one ever lay on their deathbed thinking that they said “I love you” too much.
So here it is, for the world (or at least the very small percent of the world that will read these words) to see.
I love you Lillith.