A debt of gratitude

I am grateful to my past because it brought me to my present.

I am grateful to my present because it will bring me to my future.

I am grateful for my future because I have one.

So you might not think I have a lot to be grateful for, given the way things have worked out. But you would be wrong. I Have had many ups and downs over the course of my life, but I have never regretted the past. I may regret some of my actions, but the only thing you can do is learn from them.

My past has been eclectic to say the least. I have been an abused child, homeless, desperately poor, hungry and many other less than fun things. All of those things helped (for better or for worse) make me who I am.
Along side all those other things I also had two amazing children. I had a long stint as a Concert Sound Engineer, and another career in IT and AV. To top that all off I met someone on the internet and fell in love and moved to the UK. Then I met and fell in love with a kitten. I learned so much about myself during that time and it changed me again. Not everything I learned was pleasant but that doesn’t make it less important. So I remain grateful to my past and those people in it.

My present is no less complicated, because why would it be? A relationship ending, another changing and yet another one just beginning. What I learn now will carry me forward and I am am thankful to have the support of people in my life who want to help me to be well and safe. Often the present can feel unsettled and that can make it seem to difficult to go on, I know though that going on is the only thing to do. A tradition I brought with me from America is Thanksgiving. The meaning it has for me is gathering those you love and those that love you together and celebrate each other. It always reminds me that the world is full of love and caring at that is more important now that it has ever been.

I am grateful for all the moments that I have, and I’m moving forward one step at a time to the future.

Park Bo-gum

This is where I once again step into the unknown. I am no longer a young man and sometimes I see the future as just a journey into the “Undiscovered country” but that is no way to live your life. I have new adventures ahead for me and the only way to be ready for them is to boldly forge ahead. Face those changes head on and learn from my present and my past. Where that takes me is anyone’s guess. If we could predict the future it wouldn’t be scary. But it also wouldn’t be exciting. I am looking forward to what is yet to be and 3 days in December is part of that.

The storms are raging on the rollin’ sea And on the highway of regret The winds of change are blowing wild and free You ain’t seen nothing like me yet

Bob Dylan

So buckle up and watch me succeed and love what the future has for me, or, watch me fail spectacularly. Either way it is going to be a hell of a ride.

Michael

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash