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open secret

I suppose that this doesn’t really qualify as a secret, but I am going to say that maybe not everyone knows this so it is going to count. I learned that I had a kink that I was unaware of. In retrospect I suppose I should have realized it sooner. I have known for a while that I was a Dom, but what came as a surprise is that I am also a Daddy.

Now before you get freaked out, I am not after my daughter or underage girls. I want my women, to be, well, women (and not actually related to me). This is an area that many people even within the kink community that people take issue with. But to me it has two aspects.

For me (because this is only how it applies to me YMMV) the primary role of a Daddy is to nurture. To love and support and guide their little. And if need be, provide correction when needed. Does this mean that littles were deprived of love, support and affection as children, no, I mean for some people that is possible but I don’t feel it applies to everyone. We all want external validation. People to tell us “Well done!” and “Good job!” and really using the words “Good girl” or “Good boy” aren’t that much different.

On the other side of the coin for me is being the Daddy. Providing that support, care and fulfilling my partners needs gives me satisfaction. And to be fair I must say I love the correction part too. Just like being Dom a large part of it is caring and that feeds me. Just as much as I enjoy delivering a good spanking or flogging, holding her and putting her back together afterwards matters as much as marking and using her does.

Now to the second part of why it works for me. It is the taboo. Either corrupting or being corrupted by her while she calls me Daddy is just hot to me. I know that it won’t work for many others, but I want to point out that many of the kinks that others enjoy just don’t get me going and some even turn me off. The fantasy and the extension of the power dynamic to that space is intoxicating. Not far removed from the school girl or cheerleader outfit and finding that hot and sexy doesn’t mean that someone wants to have a teenager, I know that I don’t. But with another consenting who likes the same thing? Well that is a perfect combination for me. Now I don’t want to be a fulltime Daddy because sometimes my plain old Dom side has to come out too and while there are similarities and overlaps they aren’t the same thing. Why we have our kinks and how they work for us is deeply personal. I would guess that for me being a Daddy has its roots in not receiving that kind of affection as a child and while it didn’t move me to be a little, it does move me to provide what I did not get… maybe.

So there you have it, my open secret. Sometimes, I am a Daddy and I like it.


Photo by Liana De Laurent De Laurent on Unsplash

10 thoughts on “open secret”

    This isn’t my thing, but I can understand how it is yours. But mostly I am loving that you are writing again. That is great to see. xx

    Nice post. This is my yum too and it was also something I didn’t know I liked until I was presented with a situation that allowed it. Sex and being called daddy gets me every time.

    I’m glad you mentioned the stereotype of a little. I was not uncared for, unloved or lacked any affection as a child. In fact my family is very affectionate and.. my submissive side is a little. Not all of us had to go through something traumatic to be drawn to it. I loved having a Daddy and most of my Doms fit that role. I need the rules but also the regression. I’m not a bit surprised that you discovered this side of you, from what little interaction we have had you portrayed mannerisms of a Daddy Dom in teaching. Thank you for sharing!

    I never thought of the nurturing part of a Daddy… I always thought it was Doms who wanted a sub who acted childlike and that is something I’m not sure I could do. But I do thrive on the positive interaction from a Dom. I’m not big on punishment, but do love funishment. Bring on the spanking and flogging. I’m glad you are finding the things that work for you.

    Thank you so much for joining us for this week’s F4T πŸ™‚ This is something I haven’t done, that maybe isn’t my kink but also maybe totally is my kink, lol, I suspect in the right moment a lot of what you’ve talked about could really work for me, especially this part … ‘It is the taboo. Either corrupting or being corrupted by her while she calls me Daddy is just hot to me.’ So who knows, only time will tell, either way, I very much enjoyed your thoughts on the matter πŸ™‚

    Glad that you’re exploring and embracing some new parts of you. I will say I’m not surprised at this not-a-secret! Lol! You definitely give off Daddy vibes imo.
    I’m a huge DDlg fan and have been for basically ever. For me it’s always been about the nurturing, the guidance, the rules. I need boundaries!
    As much as I love other play too, DDlg is like my safe space/home base.

    I prefer a Daddy-like Dom because I appreciate nurturing and being cared for and provided boundaries. I find it safe and soothing to be protected and guided in such a way. And as was mentioned earlier, it doesn’t mean I’ve had any trauma I’m trying to make up for. I get off on powerful yet loving men. And hearing a man say ‘good girl’ when I’ve earned it, knowing he’ll let me wrap him around my finger…is simply delicious.

    Some may find it strange, I suppose. But if you find a lover who loves this in you and with whom you can grow, then you are a lucky.

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